Adapting to your surrounding

Do you adapt to your surrounding quickly or does it time for you to adapt to your new surroundings? Do you ever adapt or fight your surrounding?

As I contemplate on my surroundings I realized that I do change to adapt to my surrounding. I look back in my pass and I've made changes multiple time to make life easier for me. No, I don't change my personality but change my focus on what I do that makes it easier to focus on my future. For example: one relationship I went to Opera's, another I stop going to sporting games because my partner was not into sports. Also moving to different cities or state may make a difference of what your future focus will be. I lived in Hawaii, California and now Kansas. They are all different life styles and different focus on life.

I personally take time to warm up to the idea of changes. Meeting or seeing someone new, I tend to be a little shy or cold until I feel comfortable. As others due, I try to figure out what the situation or person is all about first before I feel comfortable. Yes, all my relationship was not full force at first. I was a little intimidated by the other person before I felt comfortable with the person. Normally the other person would not shy me away because of that. They figured out that I was not so sure of the situation and was okay with it. I don't know how they knew but they did and things got really great. Even moving to new state, I tend to not do much until I figure the place out. What they have to offer or what areas are safe. I am still trying to learn about Kansas City because I really don't know the areas yet. I've been here in the city for about a little over a year and still have been only to certain areas. One day I'll be ready to do more things.

How are you with new relationships or moving to places? Or even new jobs. A new job scares me a lot. You know people are watching you and you can't screw up. Now this is a major situation that lots of people goes through.  How do you handle it?

In any case, be yourself.  I've learned the hard way and people will think of you the way they want to. You can't change others but you can improve yourself in life.

Hope in Life

Have you ever wish for things that can or should be in your life? Do you wish you could turn back the time so you can make things better?

As I sit here contemplating on what I want to do next in life for my future. I decided I have to work on the obstacles that is in my way because part of future consist of things or persons are in my past. To make things go smoothly in my future, I have to make restitution with my past. Yes I am like other people who has dreams that one day would come true if I work at it.  Do you dream big and feel like it's a tough road to get there?  I am one person that really can't handle lingering things in my life. For example: 1) My property is not exactly as I want it but because of the weather and finances, I am not able to get it the way I want it and it bugs me. 2) ex's that are waiting for one day to be friends is bugging me too.  Now this is very personal to me because I've always transition fast. I don't hold animosity against anyone.  Life is to short to distance friendship. I've lived through death of a spouse, so nothing is impossible.

People might say I live in a jaded world but I know I live a life which I can sleep at night with no problems hunting me. Due to my physical condition, I have a life which makes me want to dream again. Yes I've been through a lot this past several years but nothing is holding me back to dream of a great future.  How are you planning your future? Do you hold on to the past that's keeping you from moving forward? The present and the future will prosper if you work at it.  There is nothing holding you back but yourself.  So get out there and make it a great life.

Seeing things in a different light

Have you ever thought of seeing things differently? I mean, if you could change things that has already happened?

As we get older we tend to review what we have done in the past and double check to see if we did the right thing. I for one have made or choose things that I am not proud of.  I know I've done good things that made me for who I am but there are situations which I could do over. Don't get me wrong, I would not change my past because I have no regrets but recently, I have not made the right choices. This makes me wonder why am I trying to hard to hold on things that will never be.  Have you ever tried to keep something or hold on to something that will never be? Also, have you ever wish that there was a second chance to make it right?

As I review the past, I really haven't known or seen anyone who tried to recover in things which went wrong and succeeded. Trying to do it yourself, sometimes does not work because you might need help or it takes two to complete the task. In humanity, lots of people really don't want to make the effort on trying to make things right.  I know of some selective people will do so because they know if we don't make things right, than we would never know.  For instance, my late partner would make sure we would not go to bed without talking about any issues we would have for that day. It sounds simple but it takes two and if I would not respond, I would be making it harder for both of us. Yes, I said both of us because when you wake up the next morning we will still have to deal the issue on hand. Do you like to have a fresh start or do you tend to deal with the stress the next day? I hope you choose the fresh start. Everyone is different but hopefully you are handling any situation correctly,

I hope one day I will be able to talk or deal with issues that needs to be done.  I know I have flaws in my personality but not everyone have gotten to see the real me.  I normally tend to put up walls to protect me until I know it is safe.  As everyone does,  they tend to try to protect themselves but that could hurt you too. So in life, there are times when you feel life you should have just given it your all and see what happens.  Who knows, it could be good or it could be bad.

Changing Churches

How do you decide on making a change to another church?

Today I have decided to make a change to go to another church from the denomination I have been going for years.  Have you made a change of where you worship? I know there's several other churches that I can attend but I'm not sure what denomination they are.  Since Kansas and Missouri are in the bible belt, I know there's a place that I will feel welcome.

Will this be the right move for me? I am not sure but for personal reasons I have to make a change  to keep a positive attitude towards church. When in life things happen, you need to do something to correct any issues that arises.  I am not sure leaving the church for personal reasons counts as an issue but this time it has to happen. Note: there is nothing wrong with the church I am currently attending,  it's just my prerogative to leave.

 Making a new start will be the best thing I ever do.  

Our hearts: how much can we handle

How much can our hearts handle? How strong is our hearts?

Today, this is what I have been thinking about.  How much can our own hearts handle stress or sympathy for others? As I receive a call this morning from a friend who has been hurting and wanted to be consoled by me. I am a good listener and a good friend.  I know there are times as a friend you can't do anything but listen to that person. Do you listen to your friends to help them through tough times?

After several hours listening to this person, I have come to reality that I have not only have the burden of my own situation but I've added several different situations from others to my already hurting heart. I understand that everyone needs a outlet to express themselves but where does it stop for me? This morning she really needed to vent her frustration which was fine for me but now I feel the pain she is going through.  She is not the only one I have been dealing with and as time progressed, I have built up other stress to my heart. As I have listened to others as their outlet, now I don't have an outlet to express the pain that has been added.  Yes, I have friends but not someone I really have faith in to guide me through things to make it better. What is your secret on handling yours and other peoples stress or worries?

Unease feelings

Have you ever feel unease about something?

As I work on my computer today, I have this strange feeling something is going to happen or has happened to someone I know. Today I have this nervous feeling that I can't sake.  I know I've been helping a buddy for the past couple of days and today I'm not able to get any contact with this person. I am hoping that it's not my friend but it makes me wonder why I'm having this weird feeling.  Has this sort of thing happened to you?  What do you do about it? Or do you just wait to find out?



 

Humans best friends

Life is so strange on how we depend on our animals to have as a companion.

More and more these days we as humans depend on animals to be our companion. It's not like having a human mate to be a companion which it is not the same but older people and/or single people depend on having an animal by their side to keep them going through life.  I know couples (spouses/significant others) who have to rely on animals to keep that special spark in life and it's not wrong.  As a single person, I too have a little dog who is always by my side and I wouldn't change it.

The sad part is, what happens when your special pet dies? Animals don't have family members that can console you when your pet companion dies or will steer you in the right direction, but more and more people struggles through the same situation when this happens. I don't know if there's any group that helps people get through their grieving of their pets. Do they have such thing? When older or people who depends on these animals a lot to get through life and their special pet dies, part of them dies too (like a spouse or a great friend).  Recently I've seen and heard of people struggling because of a lost of their best friend (their pet) and things don't go well, My little heart hurts to hear such thing. What can you do? You can't bring their pets back. You can't fill the whole in their hearts. What do you do?

Pets plays a major part in society which people takes for granted. We as pet owners try to make sure our pets are well taken cared of. But there are some bad apples out there that makes it worst for pet owners. Pet cruelty is nothing to laugh about, it is a serious thing to remember. Most of all pets touches lots of people in many ways. Please be sympathetic to people who is going through or has gone through a lost of a pet.  Pets are important.

Spending time with the in-laws

How do you feel about spending time with the in-laws?

As I spend my time with my late partners siblings today, it reminds me of my late partner.  The siblings are here with all their spouses and children. Even though being around a lot of people, I wonder how good is it for me? Since my relationship has been taken away from me and I am still a major part of my in-laws lives.  I wonder why would it bring back memories /feelings I've had hidden behind a wall that I built since my life changed. Have you dealt with similar situations?

 It is a sad day when you haven't moved on and still have these feelings still within you. I guess if I was in another relationship, things would not be as bad but I'm not.  I know everyone grieves differently and it may take time to move on but when you are faced with the memories facing you in front of you, it's tough. How do you deal with it? I thought things would get easier as time progress forward but how long will this feelings go on? As I started another friendship with someone else which became a short lived one, I thought that it would have been a start of recovery but when that ended I think it became even worst.  As much as you try and fool your feelings, it does not work. One day at a time... This is all I can say this situation. Good luck.

  

Great future

Do you ever feel like the future will be great from now on?

As I go through today like any other day, I feel positive that the changes in my life has made me feel better for the future.  I've started more and more liking the path I am heading for.  Do you sometimes question the past you are going through? Things happens for a reason and there is no answer why it happened but it did. Just go with it.

Yesterday I lifted a big burden that was on my shoulders for a while but today it has made a difference for me. I feel like the heaviness has been removed from the path and I now can move forward without looking back. Have you ever felt that way? It really feels good and no one can take that away from me. I know in my mind that things comes full circle but I will cross that path if it should ever come full circle. I have nothing to lose at this point in my life. Things only can get better. Be strong and do what you need to do to for a brighter future.  This is what I'm doing.

So go out there and make things happen in your life.  Grab your future by the hand and make it so.

Lord I'm Ready Now

Commercials and Shows

Darn commercials and TV shows.  As we get closer to February 14th (Valentine's Day) the commercials and shows starts their romantic series. As a single person, do you hate when these shows and commercial reflect all romantic themes? Yes I said "hate". 

Last night every show I watched had some sort of romance in it; The only thing that caught my attention which I am not sure if it's true because it has never not happened to me.  These people who broke up tend to go on as friends and not have any hangups on what went wrong. Even though in the back of their minds they keep wondering of the past but it does not hold them back from going on with the present. As a person who has been in a relationship before, I try always kept friends with my exes til today.  I try not to keep friendship from a far. If they came into your life, there is a reason for them being there. Do you walk away from a friend once your relationship ends? Or do you try to be friends?

This is time of the year love is in the air because of all the promotions that are staring in our faces. It is good for people who are in a relationship but for us single people we have to see all these things and wonder what if? Or what can we do to enjoy this special day for couples as a single person.  Since it's has been a few years for me, I tend to stay home and watch some sort of funny show.  This year I thought it would have been different but things did not workout in my favor. I was really looking forward for Valentine's Day and figuring out how I would celebrate it. As faith intervened, I am still single. So a night of funny movies will in my future.  How do you spend your Valentine's Day? Do you just go out and enjoy it anyway?   Or are you like me and just chill out at home.  How ever you enjoy that day, make it a great one.

Looking through a glass window

Do you ever think you are looking through glass windows when it comes to life?

As I sit here looking out the window into our somewhat nice weather. I wonder does other people stand outside of my life looking in? I keep wondering if there's people who are looking at me and wondering what is going on with me. Our lives are not like windows but we are translucent to others. Our action and mentality shows through us. Yes there are times when we are not translucent because we are afraid or can't figure out the next person.  If you spend enough time with that person, you'll see that they are not what you thought they were. Or they are more than what you have hoped for. We all like to look at other people and form our own opinion of others but opinion is just that "your opinion". Do you form an opinion of others before you really get to know the person?

Now in my older years, I tend to just go with flow.  I try not to make any opinion of others because somehow I always get it wrong. I try my hardest to treat everyone as equal because we are. Looking through life, I am not the greatest or perfect person but I have one thing I can say, I treat life with great respect. I thank God every morning I get up and thank God for the day I've had. As a single person, we are missing the family gathering or support from family members but God is always there to fill the missing aspect of our life. Don't get me wrong, this is the longest I've ever been single since I was 25 years old but I'm holding on to my faith, God will find the right person to fill the empty part of my life. As for now, God will be that person. I will never replace God but one day my life will be filled with happiness and joy once again.

Do you just look through windows to see how others live there lives? Or do you do something to make things happen for you? I know several people who just tend to let life pass them by. If I had the ability to make people happy, I want to help you. So don't just look through a glass window and let your life pass you by. Ask others to help you enjoy life. We all deserve it.

True or Fake friends

Do you really know who your true friends or fake friends are? What is the trigger point to tell you who your fake friends are?

I sometimes wonder what goes through peoples minds to choose to be a real friend or fake friend. I recently figured out who were my true friends and sympathetic to my needs.  I was not feeling well which I posted on Facebook and saw who was really watching my post.  I notice that multiple people saw the post and responded on it which I figured, But there were those who did see the posting and did not say anything. The sad part is when you expect certain people to respond which they didn't, not only responding to the posting but not even any contact anyway or form. Also this was not the only issue at the same time. My father was rushed to the hospital and was in critical condition which this was posted the same time. Guess what, these same people who claim they are friends, did not contact me to see how I was handling the situation.

There is no excuse for a person not to be sympathetic the next person. A phone call, email, twitter or even now days Facebook. It's just some way to say something nice to that person. If you were part of someones life for a brief moment or a long time standing, it is appropriate to show some compassion to that person. If something happened to you, do you expect some compassion back? We live in a world that everyone needs to be nicer to each other.  True friends will always be there no matter the situation but we need to get rid of all those fake friends because they are a drain to you life.

So are you a true friend to someone or are you one of those fake friends?

Reflecting on your life

Have you ever sit and think of what you have gone through in life and wonder what's in store for you in the future?

As I sit here having my coffee, I'm reflecting on what has happened in the past and figuring out where my future will take me. Since I have had a diverse past which somewhat makes me for who I am today, I keep wondering what can I do to improve my future. I made a start last night in devoting myself to a church organization. This could bring new friends into my life but the only thing which will be missing is the companionship which everyone strive for. Do you devote yourself into something hoping it would bring you a new start? What about companionship?

If you are single like me, we tend to search for that special person to be your future. Since large cities are very scary, we tend to search for someone you've already known. The issue is, what do you do when you are from a different city or state and trying to find that special person? Some people search the gym for that hook up but it's just that, a hook up. A quality person is really hard to find when you are searching for one. I've known people to choose quantity verses quality in their life's and it's very strange to me because I am a monogamous person. But everyone has their own perspective and chooses their own ways of companionship.  Looking in my past, I've always been monogamous which I am glad about it.  Ar you monogamous? Or are you a player? Do you plan for your future?

Which ever way you choose to deal with your life, it's your business and no one can make you choose. Just realize that the past you had may hinder or make your future because learning from your past errors can make a difference for when you are choosing your future. As for me like others, I am still searching for that bright future and companionship which I've always dreamed about. So good luck on your future and also learn about things as you go.

Life threatening disease

Do you help someone with a "life threatening disease" or do you run away?

I have known people in my life with life threatening disease which I was there for them. Yes, I said "known" because they have passed away and I am very glad that I was there to assist them. There are lots of threatening disease out there which is very hard for a person to even comprehend.  I have personal experience for helping and caring for someone since 1993.  I can't imagine how these people really felt when they were diagnose with a life threatening disease.

In 1993 I knew someone who was dying due to AIDS and it was an eye opening for me and which I was just only 25 years old and coming out. Also since I just moved to California and learned about the gay life style, I was very interested in it. I was not afraid of what I was doing to help him through his last days with us but it was really worth it being part of something that could shape me for the future. I've learned what was safe sex and what was not safe. As a HIV Negative person, I was very fortunate of learning safe sex and going to groups to talk about it.  The group that I use to hang out with were very knowledgeable about the life style and I learned a lot. Now days there are lots of prevention to help people who are infected with the disease and I applaud for the medical professionals who discovered the drugs. A longer life for them.

But this is not the only disease I had to deal with in my life.  My late partner had a heart disease which took a lot of our time in and out of the hospitals. I spent numerous day and nights in the hospital with him. I also had a scare of loosing him 2 1/2 years prior of his actual passing date. I spent a month in Mississippi while he was in a coma for 12 days. I was told he would not live through this because his heart could not take it but with the grace of God he woke up. Once he woke up it was another adventure I had to go through. He spent a month or two in rehab which it was tough. This disease did not take him then but it took his life later down the line. Being there and caring for him was a choice I choose. I did not even think about moving on or giving up on him because I knew that everyone needs someone, especially in hard times. Not that I would have left him because he was the lite of my life. But I was going to be there until the end (like a married couple).

Soon after my partner passed, I was faced with an extended family member and a friend dealing with Cancer. It was tough for both families who cared for them. I was there for both people and trying to do as much as I could for both of them, Since both were miles apart, I spent little time here and there to help them out. Yes within year and a half, I dealt with several deaths personally of family and friends. I've learned a lot about how people feel when the end is coming.

So as you can see, I have spent part of my life helping people in need. But would you do the same if you've come across someone who needs a friend or someone who needs your help? I hope so because some of these disease are family hereditary or was done by accidentally.  I've been watching the news and saw all these people suffering and there's no where to turn to. We all need to help each other because life is to short. So get out there and do something for someone. Whether they are ill or not, do something for someone.

All about Religion

What's on my mind today? Religion.

My readers on this page or my other page are majority Catholics, which I was raised as a catholic too. Since I got older I have changed religion but still have the catholic in me. I am a member of non-denominational church called MCC which I've been a member for many years. I have seen many changes while a member of MCC. Some good and some bad.

Because I was baptized as Catholic I really can't remember all the changes that has happened back than since I was young and it has been many years since than. I know I've seen different priest at our church throughout the years. As an adult, things are making sense of what's happening when it comes to attending churches and the politics that comes with it. The major thing I remember looking back is that the priest played a major part of the congregation and keeping it's parish together.  I remember going to the church on a week day praying for things that has gone wrong and always a priest was there because he lived on the premises which the doors were always open to the public.  I am not sure if Catholic churches still have open door polices since I've been attending a different type of church. I am not sure what's happening now days with the Catholics. Do you know if the doors are always open to the public?  Has things changed since I was younger regarding open door polices for the Catholic church?

I have notice more and more churches are just there for Sunday's Services. I attended a church close to me where I live (not an MCC church), not even the church staff was there doing the week. The only time I've seen anyone there is when there was a function or  Sunday Service. I know these people still gets paid as a staff member but they work from home as they say. So what happens to the building while parishioners wants to pray at the house of the lord? I know where ever you pray God can hear you but like when I was young, it was nice to be in the house of lord. Other churches I see they have their staff there but it's only for church business and not for anyone who wants to just pray in the house of lord.

Has things changed so much that we only have Sunday Services or special functions? In my opinion, I think since majority of the churches own their own building, they should open it up to the public. Hey, maybe that one or several people who goes to pray doing the week would donate to the churches donation box and not only in a Sunday Service. Churches now days are suffering financially with their budget but opening to new idea or concepts on going back to how it was, could be an option to receive more money.   I don't know, what do you think? I know I always did put something in the donation box when I went doing the week which I felt I needed to. So this is something you should think about regarding the church you attend.

Date for Valentine's Day

As a single person, how do you find a Valentine's Day date?

Since I've been out of the loop for many years, how do you find a date for Valentine's Day? What is your secret in finding a date on that special day?

This will be my third Valentine's Day without a date since my late partner passed. But this year I am willing and should find a date for that special day. I just need to see what's out there. Who knows, maybe there is a special person that would be the right person for me. Not that I am searching for that special person but who knows. Since moving to Kansas City from the country it is very difficult to make new friends in the life style. Don't get me wrong, I've met other nice people here but no one in particular to date. The city should have a variety of people to choose from but I haven't found that particular person yet. With my past history, I've met people from other states or city which somewhat worked out fine because I've moved there when the timing was right. This time I am starting slow and finding a date first to see how it goes.  I think Valentine's Day could be fun with the right person.

Where and how do you find a date for Valentine's Day? I know it is normally for couples but single people can find a date on that special day to just enjoy like the rest of them.  Are you single and searching for that special friend to enjoy on that day?  If so, good luck and have fun.

Days like this

Have you ever wonder what "Days like this" means? I often wonder but everyone has different answers to the question.

Today has been a weird day (quite depressing). When things can go wrong, it will go wrong.  I haven't seen anything positive happening today and I have decided to just kick back and let the day go by. What do you do when everything goes wrong? Without going into details, at times I remind myself that there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow might bring a better day. Thinking positive for the next day is the best way I know how to deal with it. So hopefully you are not having a "day like this" as I am.

Bible Scriptures

This morning I have started differently than my normal routine. Somehow while checking all my Facebook, email and twitter account I came across bible scriptures on my internet browser.

The browser showed me different ways of analyzing James 3:1 scripture. The strange thing is that it's all about being a teacher and higher standards.  I am not a man of the cloth but I know several people who are. There are more than these examples below but I choose these two.

James 3:1 (KJ21) | In Context | Whole Chapter

3 My brethren, let not many be masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.

Or

3 Not many [of you] should become teachers (self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].

This is not my normal style of blog but I had to share what came across my computer this morning.

Mutual Respect

Do you give mutual respect to others? Or are you one of those people expect respect from others but does not give it? Also there are people out there that respect themselves, they always respect others and don't expect it back.

I was raised Catholic from when I was young and has change religion multiple times through my life. The words or life style I remember and has stuck with me through my life journey is: Treat others as you want to be treated. These simple words are just that "simple". What ever religion you are and plan to be, those words are in every religion. (I could be wrong, but it's been with all the different denominations I've been to) I know it's simple words but it's a tough one to live up to. 

If you are a CEO of a company, teacher, students, truck drivers, priest, self employed or just and employee of a company; we are all humans and need respect from one another. The best way I've learned is if you want respect, you must first respect yourself and always give respect to others whether they are nice to you or not. Once you learn how to respect others, you'll see that you'll get respect back. Don't be fooled, there are people out there that really don't know how to respect anyone. And there are people out there that expect respect from you but when it's time for them to respect you, they hide behind their own shadow. Yes, as human instinct we tend to always "want" things but really don't know how to act when it comes to yourself. It sounds weird but if you really look into yourself, do you see a respectful person or do you see someone who just want things from others?

In relationships people tend to start nicely respecting each other but when things go wrong, does the respect continues? From my experience and I was bad at that too, I tend to walk away from it all and never looked back.  There were some people I kept contact with but others play no part of my life til today. Did I respect them enough to keep the friendship? No... Since than, I've learned that things does go wrong and parting from one another is just part of life. I tried to keep the peace and not make it a life changing situation. But it takes two and if the other person writes you off, than they did not have enough respect for you. And that's okay too because you know in your heart that you respected yourself enough to respect the other person. Life is a learning experience and with God's help, we all can learn how to get along with one another. I for one, if I could go back and undo the wrong I've done in the past, I would. Forgiveness of any wrong doing starts from you and if I knew where these people were, I would try to rectify the respect and friendship with these people. But since I don't know where they have gone to, I pray for them and their well being that life has treated them well. 

So if I can make changes in my life to respect everyone, can you? Take it slow and start with yourself first. 

Letting go

When and how do you let go? This is a good question.

From my experience it's very hard to let go things that you can't change. To accept the changes in your life is a major thing to do. People always say one day at time but does it really work? This could be one way of doing it but I've tried it and boy it's a nightmare. Letting go is one thing I've never been able to do. My mind does it's own thing and at night when you're trying to sleep, those things that you're trying to put behind you keeps appearing in your head. I've had numerous sleepless nights just because of things I can't change. How do you do it? There's always sleeping pills which some could be addictive and become a must every night. I know because I have prescription sleeping pills which I don't use.  I try to sleep on my own and not with any prescription to do so. Do you use drugs to sleep?

I am learning how to write things down for things I can not change. By writing things down, it kind of help me by letting the situation relax my mind. Does it really work? Well it's all depends on the person and situation. I know it will never leave your mind but at least you'll have some sort of stress release. Meditation is another way of releasing stress that keeps your mind relaxed. I one have never really learned how to meditate. Yes, I've learned how to sit quietly and pray for forgiveness, thanking God for what he's done for me and prayers for others who needs it. But trying to remove the situation that haunts you at night, I have not figured it out. How do you do it? For me I spend my day with house work and I listen to christian music all day. Between chores, gym and spending time with my dog, I tend to sit quietly and sort things in the mind. I know my limits of what I can and can't handle so doing this it helps me stay sane. I know there are people out there that it affects them very hard and they have to seek professional assistance.  Since I tend to live a simple and christian life, I know things will work out the way God intends. So I lift everything up to God.  (sorry to those people who does not believe in God, nothing against you. It's your prerogative) This is how I have done it for years. Do you do the same?

So this is really something to thing about on how you deal with changes in your life.

Real Friends

How do you know if your friends right now are real friends? Or do they just want be around you because there's no other friends that want to be around them?

I know that there are people out there that will be your friend for life.  Whether you have issues, been through difficulties or just having a great life, they are always by your side near or far. On the other hand, there are people that you meet and will be in your life for a short period of time. That is not bad either, it depends on the situation.  As for people you've known for many years and they have shunt you from their lives for their own personal reason or just decided that you are not worth being friends with. They weren't really a friend to begin with, it was for their personal agenda to have you around. It's how you handle the situation makes a whole lot of difference to you and that person.

Here's another type of friendship:

What if you have known this person for many years and you both decided to become closer friends and started dating? I've known people to do such thing. The only concern is that what happens when your dating situation goes sour? Do you still be friends or do you part from each other for life's for ever? Now that's the question that concerns everyone.  I have been through such thing and it's not pretty.  I guess it's how you handle things mentally because remember you are throwing away many years of friendship you both had. It's not an easy thing to do but if it's done right, you both can go on with life's knowing you can still count on the next person to still be there as a friend. (hasn't happen for me unfortunately) Can you handle this type of situation? Have you gone through something like this? What is your perspective on this type of situation?

I've been reading lots of comments on Facebook that pertains to situation like this.  A lot of times people are questioning themselves on what they did wrong but really it's not them that is causing the problem? Majority of the time it's the other person who has had something done to them and is now questioning everything in their life. All I can say is be strong and don't let others make you feel bad about yourself. If you are doing things right and good things will come your way.  True friends will always be there even at at times when you have a dispute with each other and resolve it in due time. True friends are true friends.  No one can break you apart and no situation can prevent you from keeping your friendship. Life is tough out there and you will always need friends/family to be around you whether good or bad situations. Life is to short to "hate" someone.  Hate is a strong word and it's not really a good word to use. You could always use "dislike" because one day that certain friend might come around again and life will go on.

Sex sells

Like I do every morning I check my Facebook and Google+ account to see what's going on. As always I see half naked men or females on these pages. I understand that sex sells but what is it really about? If it's an advertisement for some product, I understand that companies uses sex to catch the eyes of the readers. As for personal naked photos of yourself without any words or reason for the nakedness is a little to much. I know some use the internet to find a mate but others just do it to just do it. I myself would not want my nakedness on the internet because others/companies can just pull up your information and see what you do on your spare time. I know companies actually check the internet to find out what type of a person you are. Also it makes you look cheap or desperate to others who potentially could be your next mate. Is it worth it to be exposed to people that might make or break you. Also there's others that exploit your information or pictures to their advantage. It a scary world out there and you do not know what really happens after you post your photos on the internet.

Yes, I'm one of those people who post my face photos out there but it's really innocent like others do. Facial pictures is okay in my book because family and friends who really don't see me normally due to distance or not even in my day to day life could actually see me and how well I'm doing. But nakedness is not okay in my book which is only my opinion.  I am one of those people if it's not an actually person in front of me, it does not do anything for me. And this is how I choose my life to be.

So as for those naked pictures you see out there on the internet, does that really turn you on or do you feel like me? I am not putting down anyone one who does the nakedness posting on the internet. It's your preference to do so. This is a free country and you can do what so ever you want to. It's all on how you want to present yourself to others. Everyone makes their own choices in there own lives.

Life changing experiences

Today I had a conversation about people moving to another state or city for that special one or person. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any current plans to make a move in the near future but who knows. I know I have done this couple of times before and I would love to hear from others and their perspective on this issue.

Several people asked me if I would move out of Kansas due to a relationship or friendship which quickly I responded no because of my family being here. Was this a realistic answer? Who knows but if the tables were turned, would your family stay because of you? I guess it's all about circumstances and where at that point you or your family have to weigh their situation.

In the past, it took me a while to make a decision on making those drastic move but I did not regret it. We all are afraid of changes but if you don't try it, you won't know. It brings it back to "what if". No one knows what is really in stored for us but if it's in God's graces, things would workout whether you prepared for it or not. So what do you have to say about it?

Family Court

Have you ever gotten kicked out from a family court hearing?

 I was there as a spectator sitting in the back of the room (small room) which the judge could see me. Listening to what was happening and I shook my head for not believing the lies that was said.Than the judge asked me who I was (brother of the plaintiff) and said I could leave the court room which I did. The reasoning was she felt I was answering the question for the plaintiff and respondent who was on trial.

I couldn't believe a shaking of a head in belief of what was going on consist of answering for the people on trial. Being asked to be there by the attorney was first of all strange in a family court but getting kicked out was another surprise.  After the trial, I was told by the attorney she is like that and I guess know one can move while the trial is going on.  I just took it as a interesting and learning experience.

So have anyone gone through something strange like this?

Second chances

Do people really give second chances when it come to relationship or friendship? From experiences I have given my share of second chances to others. But when it comes to getting a second chance,  do you really receive a second chance? 

I wonder about this all the time. In new a relationship or friendship you expect to start slow. You normally have walls up so the new person in your life does not really know the real you. Yes recently this really happened to me but the outcome was tragic. Now that things has settled down, I decided to let the other person know about the real me.  You know that didn't even work either. Now I sit here figuring out that sometimes second chances does not exist. Or the other person does not really care enough to really see reality. Am I wrong in thinking this way?  What do you think about SECOND CHANCES? Do you give your all to the new person you come across? If so, how do you handle when the relationship or friendship goes sour? I would love to hear how others deal with new relationship or friendships.

Thinking differently

The question of the day: Thinking differently.  I for one have not grasp the concept of thinking differently which hinders my moving forward. How does one make the first attempt to do so? For me that's really hard to do when you have a lot of things from your past in front of you. Talk about a overhaul! Yes we as humans overhaul our minds and body.

For example: I tried removing all the pictures and reminiscence of my late partners things that keeps reminding me of my lost. Well I did so but mentally I have not tried to start living again,  Wait, I did try and failed miserable at it. So it brought me right back to where I started.

Not sure if that was a good example but there is always a "but" when it comes to the heart. I would love to know the secret of "Thinking differently". How do all of you make a drastic change on how you do things and when you are able to do it. Mentally and physically is very different in it's own ways. Like I've started going to the gym to change my outside appearance which is working. As for my mental stage, now that needs a lot of work and learning to be done to accept the things that can't be changed. Even though I live a Christian life, it really gives me lots of time to reflect on what's happened in the past and also what I want to do in the future. The only thing is that prayers can only go so far and you have to do the rest.

Any ideas on how to restart your mind or retrain your mind for the changes that needs to be done? I am taking it "one day at a time" to see if there's any improvement in my life. That's how I am dealing with it.

Do people really takes to heart of what other people suggest or say? I am wondering what people say or do when they are up against the wall about their actions they've done or planning to do.

Today at church, it was strange because the sermon was about what I was talking about yesterday "Forgiveness".  Also the pastor talked about "Afraid". Yes they both come together in ways we all could not imagine.

Example:

Late last night I sent a text to someone who needed to hear the real reason why I left the gift behind in their possession which it was gifted from this person. It's been three weeks (give or take) and I haven't told this person why I somewhat did not accept the gift. Yes, it's has taken this long because I was afraid of the response I would get. I forgave any wrong doing of each others side but I was not ready for the heartfelt argument. I don't expect any response from the text I sent but forgiving this person is all I can do.

As you can see people deal with all type of situation differently. How do you deal with situations? Do you just walk away or ignore the other person by wishing it would just go to the way side? Or do you confront the issue at hand right away?  How ever you deal with any situation, you just need to remember that you are special and know one can take that away from you.

Sleepless Night

I know everyone goes through this sometime or another.  Tonight is one of those nights that anything I do, I can't get to sleep. How do you guys handle that? Sleeping pills are additive, so I don't really use it.  The sad part of it soon it will be Sunday morning and time to get ready for church. I don't want to be one of those people that falls asleep while praying.  Which that does not happen. Not that I ever seen such thing. So I sit here once again this week trying to clear my mind so I can fall asleep.  Hate when things just keep running through your head and you can't stop it.

Living in the city should be more exciting but it's not.  I guess if you're younger, maybe that would be a different perspective on things.  As an older person (at the age of 47), life is not as fun as it use to be. I know others who are my age or older are still trying to keep up with the younger generation but there's a price to pay for that. Hey we are still young in heart and feel young too but our body tends to say something else.  I'm speaking of my own opinion and experiences. Others might say something different. As we all try to keep our bodies in shape, there's part of our mind that fights us with all the strength to remind us we are getting older. I work out at the gym every day just to keep healthy and that's fine with me.  I am not heavy or very slender person but just your normal average size.  Well some people say I don't have to work out but keeping healthy is a must for me. Knowing I have a decent amount of love handle which I am trying to get rid of, I really don't have much bell fat either. Just those love handles or spare tires as some people say. Go figure....

As a single person, you don't know if someone will be around the corner checking you out. So keeping healthy and looking decent is a must for someone like me.  What does other single people do the present or to preserve their appealing shape or looks? We all know that appearances is a must as a single person.  I know some people say that they don't care about looks, but boy there are liars.  People want the whole package- looks, body size and personality.  I haven't come across someone who would looked at and ugly person (features/size/personality) and say you are gorgeous. I seen people just walk away or if they are on a blind date, they just walk on by without introducing themselves.  Everyone needs some companionship. But the question is: how to find your special person?  If you have the answer because I'm still looking.  Since I am not a bar person and I prefer to cook my meals at home, I tend not to be out there like others trying to hard to meet someone. If it's going to happen, it will happen.

Today as I sit here like every morning having my breakfast before heading to the gym. I realized that there are lots of hatred out there in the world. I think the world has forgotten how to "forgive" the errors of people's ways.

As my previous postings of things gone wrong in my life, I've learned how to forgive and move on. I chuck it up to learning experiences and that's part of life. Are you able to do that?  As single person, it's not easy but it's how you deal with life as it comes. As for me, I live a Christian life and that's how I live my life. I leave it up to GOD to show me my path.

Are you living the way you want to?  I don't mean the physical way but mentally. I know life is tough out there especially with poverty, anger and craziness but it's how you deal with life mentally. Be strong and live the life that makes you feel good inside with things that helps you enjoy life. So go out there and make a difference in the world for you and others.

Since I don't have a place or anyone to talk to, I'm doing this here. I am changing all my electronics to reflect things that are happening in my current life. In order for me to start a new life, I must remove all phones reflecting my late partner. George I hope you understand but it's been two years and I'm holding on to what I had. It's time to hold you in my heart and look for my future. Not sure what's ahead in the future but it should be great.

I tried getting out there and got my first heartbreak. I don't understand what happened but only God knows what happened because the guy has stopped all communications with me after he ended my vacation early. Yes I don't understand but I hope one day it will be clearer.

I miss him and think of him a lot. It's been couple of weeks now and I've hoped it would go away but his always on my mind. I wonder if there's any good way to move on from this feeling?  I just have to try.

Lost in memories.